I happened to be performing a minor laser procedure on an old patient of mine today. We got to talking and he brought up the issue about the reportedly tough times of the day. If you ever get to thinking you've got it tough, and need a little pick-me-up, engage an old-timer about how things were not so long ago. He mentioned that back in the mid-30's life was a bit different when described as difficult. He was lamenting the huge government spending of the day and talked about how the government infused $500 million to help get out of the depression. "Didn't work then, and it won't work now. The thing that ultimately turned things around was The War. Wasn't until 1950, 15 years later, that things got better, then the Korean War boosted things again." He recalled that folks were much more willing to sacrifice day to day things to help in the war effort. If you needed to go somewhere, which you didn't do unless you really needed to, you walked, because they needed the gasoline. You did without metal, rubber, meals, new clothes, and only bought what you absolutely needed. You knew your neighbors, because everyone helped each other out.... and everyone needed help.
He went on to talk about how very few do without today. The vast majority of us have all the food, clothing, gasoline, household goods... and other "needs". Most of us are able to go where and when we need. Seems everyone, including those on state assistance, have cell phones, cars, and medical care. In my position, I see these folks every day. I don't mean to make light of those less fortunate. It just seems there are few who really suffer from lack of want. I do ocassinally see those that are truly "needy", but it seems like they are the ones who don't ask for much. They don't generally ask for assistance, but it is usually obvious that they need help. Few of these folks are actually on state assitance. They generally have jobs, albeit, poorly paid ones. But they don't play the pity card. They accept who and where they are, and easily accept what they can, and can't, have. Some times what they need is surgery. When faced with that as an only option to improve their sight, they usually are satisfied that they'll just have to wait. We'll always check to see if one of the generous eye surgeons will help out, and they generally do. These folks are a bit uncomfortable with taking charity, and sometimes reluctantly accept, IF they need it to keep their job. Some won't, and gladly accept the fact that they will just do without. Of course, these are the ones for which we work the hardest. Would we all be so humble? I think it's a sign of maturity and selflessness to humbly accept your situation, however difficult, and expect no one to fix it for you.
The truth is, I believe, few today understand what it is to really do without, to have unmet needs. Most have unmet "wants". We live in a time of unmatched comfort, safety and affluence. Life expectancy is at an all time high. Life, through out human history has been a far more dangerous and difficult existence than it is today. My parents' generation understand this better than do we. They understand and recognize a real problem or threat, and know what it means to live within one's means. If you want or need something and you can't afford it, you do without it, until you can afford it. Today, it generally means one bought to much of something else and don't have enough left over for other stuff they want.
Hearing the difficult state of financial affairs, the pain, in this great country, seems to offend a little. Are we really in that much pain? Losing a $100K job is pain? I'd argue that someone with a $30K a year job is much more likely to experience pain. If I were to lose my job, for example, the things I own would have to go. The house, the lake house, the boat, the nice cars, etc. I'd then have to find a smaller house or apartment, drive a smaller and less expensive car, eat fewer steaks and more hamburger, have fewer days off, and the like. But, I'd probably end up with a perfectly good roof over my head, and a reasonably dependable car, and probably wouldn't miss many meals. I'd still be healthy, still have my family that loves me, my kids would have to take more responsibility for the "things" they have and "need". But, is that pain? The hit my pride woud suffer, and the embarrassment, might feel like pain. But wouldn't I have more than my parents and grandparents had for much of their lives? Would I have more that the generations before that?
What we're going through today as a nation is not pain. It's just less than what we've been accustomed to. It's better than any of us had 20 years ago. Let's hope we don't experience real pain. How would we deal with that, if we think today is painful?
The key is to get up every day, be thankful for what we have, the real things like family and close friends, and go to work and make someone else happy. The best anti-depressant is to quit thinking about what we don't have and help someone who really doesn't. Sounds old and cliche, but it is true. The happiest people are the ones who own their things, and don't let their things own them. Unfortunately, the more we have, the more we want. My mother told me that when I was a child, but I finally understand it. Funny how many things my parents taught me didn't sink in until I became an adult. Can't ever repay enough, but I can pass it on to those I care about. And they'll understand it one day. Hopefully, and probably, earlier in life than did I.
Until next time....
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Ode to a Good Man
Bob Owens was buried this past Tuesday, August 11. He passed away in his sleep on the previous Friday, August 7, 2009. As usual, I was rushing to get things done before leaving the office for the funeral, and rushing to get out and back to the office since I'd been gone for what I felt was a bit too long. During the service, I was struck by the things I learned about a man, my uncle, who I thought I knew reasonably well.
Little did I know how many lives he touched. Several people I didn't know, walked to the pulpit, one after another, to tell us all how Bob had touched their life or gave them a helping hand along the way. I had always know that Bob had worked hard, at least since I had known him from the time I was a young boy. Often times he missed family get-togethers over holidays because he had to go check on a well-site. But I didn't know the things I heard from all who spoke.
I learned that at age 14, his father passed away, and because of the loss of the family's bread-winner, he needed to contribute. At that young age, he took a job delivering milk in Okmulgee, a job that required him to awaken at 4am. He worked hard all through high school, and I doubt it was for spending money. His mother worked as a butcher in town. I also didn't know that my father worked with her there while he was a young man, but that's when he met Bob. He obviously knew him quite some time before he married my father's sister, Billie Sue, some years later.
We heard stories from some who worked with Bob in the oil business, neighbors, high school friends, fellow Mason's, classmates at OSU, and others that had known Bob throughout his life. I must say I had no idea he was so well liked among those outside our family. The common denominator of all the stories and heart felt eulogies, was how dependable and consistent he was. Many of those that spoke didn't know the others who offered similar accolades for the man who, by all accounts, lived his life making sure his family was taken care of, letting his friends knew he cared, and helping his neighbors by contributing to his community in any way he could. He raised money for scholarships for deserving students at OSU, his alma mater, to which he was a loyal alumnis.
I've got to say, I had no idea the kind of man he was. I knew I always enjoyed talking to him, and listening to his views on things political. He once told me something that didn't make much sense at the time, but now know he was absolutely right. "If you owe the bank $50,000, they own you," he said, "but, if you owe the bank $500,000, you own them."
He'll certainly be missed. But it won't be because of the financial obligations or monetary support for his family. He took care of that responsibility. He'll be missed because of the stuff he gave away for free.
Until next time.....
Little did I know how many lives he touched. Several people I didn't know, walked to the pulpit, one after another, to tell us all how Bob had touched their life or gave them a helping hand along the way. I had always know that Bob had worked hard, at least since I had known him from the time I was a young boy. Often times he missed family get-togethers over holidays because he had to go check on a well-site. But I didn't know the things I heard from all who spoke.
I learned that at age 14, his father passed away, and because of the loss of the family's bread-winner, he needed to contribute. At that young age, he took a job delivering milk in Okmulgee, a job that required him to awaken at 4am. He worked hard all through high school, and I doubt it was for spending money. His mother worked as a butcher in town. I also didn't know that my father worked with her there while he was a young man, but that's when he met Bob. He obviously knew him quite some time before he married my father's sister, Billie Sue, some years later.
We heard stories from some who worked with Bob in the oil business, neighbors, high school friends, fellow Mason's, classmates at OSU, and others that had known Bob throughout his life. I must say I had no idea he was so well liked among those outside our family. The common denominator of all the stories and heart felt eulogies, was how dependable and consistent he was. Many of those that spoke didn't know the others who offered similar accolades for the man who, by all accounts, lived his life making sure his family was taken care of, letting his friends knew he cared, and helping his neighbors by contributing to his community in any way he could. He raised money for scholarships for deserving students at OSU, his alma mater, to which he was a loyal alumnis.
I've got to say, I had no idea the kind of man he was. I knew I always enjoyed talking to him, and listening to his views on things political. He once told me something that didn't make much sense at the time, but now know he was absolutely right. "If you owe the bank $50,000, they own you," he said, "but, if you owe the bank $500,000, you own them."
He'll certainly be missed. But it won't be because of the financial obligations or monetary support for his family. He took care of that responsibility. He'll be missed because of the stuff he gave away for free.
Until next time.....
Saturday, August 8, 2009
And now... the rest of us......
I took time to visit about Rhett and Ryan last night, and wanted to talk a bit about the rest of the family as soon as possible....
Corbin, although son #3, is really the middle child, since the older boys are twins. Corbin is definitely one to go his own way. As a boy, he struggled a bit to forge his own identity, as I'm sure is a characteristic of middle children, in that he probably thought he was in the shadow of the twins. I always thought this was probably due to the novelty of older sibling twins and the attention they often garner. I hope I played some role in helping him realize he didn't have to be like them, and that he could and should be himself. He did, and eventually grew to like who he was and, hopefully new that Jenny and I loved him for exactly who and what he is. Corbin is very bright and has an independent crust, but inside, he's a softy. He is very independent, doesn't need a lot to make him happy, and loves music. He hopes to make his way in the world in music and or film. I hope he does. Wouldn't life be great if we all spent life doing what we love as our vocation? Corbin is never indicisive, and pretty well knows what he wants to do with his time. I truly enjoy the heart to heart talks we occasionally have.
Chad is the youngest. Again, the birth order seems to have worked itself out pretty well in our family. He is carefree, doesn't appear to worry much, has a simplistic view of life, and is very loyal to his friends. When all the boys were still in high school, I was told many times by many people, including his counsellor that Chad was the most popular kid at Norman North. Guess he pretty well knew everyone in school with brothers that were seniors and a junior. To wind up the birth order issue, let's just say that Chad will probably both forget, and be late for, his own funeral.... And, hopefully, the fender-benders are done with. But, he's a sweet kid, not a mean bone in his body, and takes nothing too seriously. Now if he'll just find what it is in life he wants to do, I'll quit worrying. This next month will be his first year in college, and he'll start at a community college, hopefully transferring to OSU with Rhett, or another local school sometime during the next year or two.
And now my lovely bride... Jenny. Let me begin by saying that I don't know what I ever did in life to deserve such a wonderful mate, but I surely missed it when it happened. I love her more now than I did when I married her, and for me that means quite a lot. I've never seen a wife sacrifice, work hard, worry about her husband and kids, and take care of us all, like she does. It is truly amazing. I respect her as much as I love her, and that is the foundation for the deep feelings I have for her. I can't imagine life without her. I look forward to growing old and spending life with her. The older I get, the more I am impressed with the importance of the friends and spouse we choose. Life is so busy, full of obligations and responsibilities, that our time becomes very precious. My good friend and high school track coach, Bob Haley, told me it would happen, but I didn't appreciate the significance at the time. With such little time to spend with those we choose, friendships and our mates, those become very important to life and add to it in untold ways. It makes me appreciate those that call me a friend, and for my wife to enjoy her life being spent with me. It is an unimaginable honor. She is a jewel and I hope she knows what she means to me. I try to tell her, but I'm sure I don't do it often enough. What she has done for me, and what she has sacrificed for the boys deserves more repayment than I can possibly give her. The best I can do is to make every day good, and for her to see me take care of my responsibilities every day, in order to give her and the boys the best in life I can. In my personal life, that is my daily goal and my mission.
I have begun to realize that most of us primarily affect a relatively small sphere of people in life. I won't ever affect the masses, but those around me, family, friends and neighbors, deserve the best I can give them. The most important thing we all will ever do in life, is to make better the lives of those close to us. After we're gone, in a few short years, our lives will likely benefit only those few friends and family with whom we spend our time. Hopefully what we give them will be passed on. If we can do that, we've well spent our alloted time.
Until next time.....
Corbin, although son #3, is really the middle child, since the older boys are twins. Corbin is definitely one to go his own way. As a boy, he struggled a bit to forge his own identity, as I'm sure is a characteristic of middle children, in that he probably thought he was in the shadow of the twins. I always thought this was probably due to the novelty of older sibling twins and the attention they often garner. I hope I played some role in helping him realize he didn't have to be like them, and that he could and should be himself. He did, and eventually grew to like who he was and, hopefully new that Jenny and I loved him for exactly who and what he is. Corbin is very bright and has an independent crust, but inside, he's a softy. He is very independent, doesn't need a lot to make him happy, and loves music. He hopes to make his way in the world in music and or film. I hope he does. Wouldn't life be great if we all spent life doing what we love as our vocation? Corbin is never indicisive, and pretty well knows what he wants to do with his time. I truly enjoy the heart to heart talks we occasionally have.
Chad is the youngest. Again, the birth order seems to have worked itself out pretty well in our family. He is carefree, doesn't appear to worry much, has a simplistic view of life, and is very loyal to his friends. When all the boys were still in high school, I was told many times by many people, including his counsellor that Chad was the most popular kid at Norman North. Guess he pretty well knew everyone in school with brothers that were seniors and a junior. To wind up the birth order issue, let's just say that Chad will probably both forget, and be late for, his own funeral.... And, hopefully, the fender-benders are done with. But, he's a sweet kid, not a mean bone in his body, and takes nothing too seriously. Now if he'll just find what it is in life he wants to do, I'll quit worrying. This next month will be his first year in college, and he'll start at a community college, hopefully transferring to OSU with Rhett, or another local school sometime during the next year or two.
And now my lovely bride... Jenny. Let me begin by saying that I don't know what I ever did in life to deserve such a wonderful mate, but I surely missed it when it happened. I love her more now than I did when I married her, and for me that means quite a lot. I've never seen a wife sacrifice, work hard, worry about her husband and kids, and take care of us all, like she does. It is truly amazing. I respect her as much as I love her, and that is the foundation for the deep feelings I have for her. I can't imagine life without her. I look forward to growing old and spending life with her. The older I get, the more I am impressed with the importance of the friends and spouse we choose. Life is so busy, full of obligations and responsibilities, that our time becomes very precious. My good friend and high school track coach, Bob Haley, told me it would happen, but I didn't appreciate the significance at the time. With such little time to spend with those we choose, friendships and our mates, those become very important to life and add to it in untold ways. It makes me appreciate those that call me a friend, and for my wife to enjoy her life being spent with me. It is an unimaginable honor. She is a jewel and I hope she knows what she means to me. I try to tell her, but I'm sure I don't do it often enough. What she has done for me, and what she has sacrificed for the boys deserves more repayment than I can possibly give her. The best I can do is to make every day good, and for her to see me take care of my responsibilities every day, in order to give her and the boys the best in life I can. In my personal life, that is my daily goal and my mission.
I have begun to realize that most of us primarily affect a relatively small sphere of people in life. I won't ever affect the masses, but those around me, family, friends and neighbors, deserve the best I can give them. The most important thing we all will ever do in life, is to make better the lives of those close to us. After we're gone, in a few short years, our lives will likely benefit only those few friends and family with whom we spend our time. Hopefully what we give them will be passed on. If we can do that, we've well spent our alloted time.
Until next time.....
Friday, August 7, 2009
It's been a while...
Took quite a vacation from writing since my first post. Guess I need time to recuperate. Heavy work...
Recent Events:
This week, Rhett left for OSU for some pre-semester acclimating. Lots to do I guess. I'd have done the same. I'm glad he's experienced college life like I wanted my sons to. As I'm sure he'd tell you, it's an experience that cannot be replaced, and in so many ways. I'm proud of many things in Rhett. He's very honest and trusworthy. He's the kind of young man I wish I had been at his age. He tries to do well at all he puts his hand to. But I think, as much as that, the thing I admire him for is his lack of fear. He isn't afraid of, or intimidated by, anything, and he's always been that way. I think those genes skipped a generation and flowed from my father. I have no concern about his succes in life. He's very social, serious, and life is important to him. It's important to him that he lead an honorable life. He's appreciative of what he's been given. I couldn't be prouder of him than I am now, regardless of the path he chooses in life. I can't wait to see what he does with his life. I know he'll contribute to this life and our world will be better off with his life.
Ryan, as well, left for Ada this week. He's been given a second chance at a life he enjoys. Got his stuff straight, his educational goals, and will probably be the punter for the ECU Tigers this year. Ryan is such a likeable young man, and his personality will improve his lot in life because of his easy nature. He, like few, has the physical skills to become a professional athlete. The only question is, as it is for the majority of those with the skills, is whether the goal is worth the sacrifice. Time will tell. If he doesn't, it means only that his desires lie elsewhere, which is just fine. We all have to find out. I hope he enjoys his time there, regardless of where he ultimately takes his life, and I hope above all, that he gets his degree and finds what it is he wants to do in life. Ryan is pretty simple, really. And that is a great way to approach life. Finding pleasure in the simple things in life. That advice comes from his grandmother, who I have to add, is one of the nicest, most pleasant people on earth, and I don't exert any bias. She's one in a million. Just like her stepmother Opal. I learned simplicity from both. We'll have fun this year going to games again, and Jenny and I are looking forward to the fun.
Well, I haven't written about the lovely Jenny (my wonderful bride), Corbin or Chad. Plenty to say there as well, but it's late and I've got a full day tomorrow, so I'll suspend operations for the night and continue again soon. Hopefully, not too long before I continue. Until next time...
Curt
Recent Events:
This week, Rhett left for OSU for some pre-semester acclimating. Lots to do I guess. I'd have done the same. I'm glad he's experienced college life like I wanted my sons to. As I'm sure he'd tell you, it's an experience that cannot be replaced, and in so many ways. I'm proud of many things in Rhett. He's very honest and trusworthy. He's the kind of young man I wish I had been at his age. He tries to do well at all he puts his hand to. But I think, as much as that, the thing I admire him for is his lack of fear. He isn't afraid of, or intimidated by, anything, and he's always been that way. I think those genes skipped a generation and flowed from my father. I have no concern about his succes in life. He's very social, serious, and life is important to him. It's important to him that he lead an honorable life. He's appreciative of what he's been given. I couldn't be prouder of him than I am now, regardless of the path he chooses in life. I can't wait to see what he does with his life. I know he'll contribute to this life and our world will be better off with his life.
Ryan, as well, left for Ada this week. He's been given a second chance at a life he enjoys. Got his stuff straight, his educational goals, and will probably be the punter for the ECU Tigers this year. Ryan is such a likeable young man, and his personality will improve his lot in life because of his easy nature. He, like few, has the physical skills to become a professional athlete. The only question is, as it is for the majority of those with the skills, is whether the goal is worth the sacrifice. Time will tell. If he doesn't, it means only that his desires lie elsewhere, which is just fine. We all have to find out. I hope he enjoys his time there, regardless of where he ultimately takes his life, and I hope above all, that he gets his degree and finds what it is he wants to do in life. Ryan is pretty simple, really. And that is a great way to approach life. Finding pleasure in the simple things in life. That advice comes from his grandmother, who I have to add, is one of the nicest, most pleasant people on earth, and I don't exert any bias. She's one in a million. Just like her stepmother Opal. I learned simplicity from both. We'll have fun this year going to games again, and Jenny and I are looking forward to the fun.
Well, I haven't written about the lovely Jenny (my wonderful bride), Corbin or Chad. Plenty to say there as well, but it's late and I've got a full day tomorrow, so I'll suspend operations for the night and continue again soon. Hopefully, not too long before I continue. Until next time...
Curt
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