Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Murder on Music Row.....

Don't get me wrong. I'm no music aficianado. But, I am a fan of all kinds of music. My interest ranges from classic rock to country to classical. A lot more of the former two, and less of the latter, but safe to say, if the music is good, I'll like it. I also understand that one's opinions are based on personal tastes, so I'll start out saying that my tastes are biased, based on my own personal history, a history of music that I've listenend to during the different phases of life to this point. If one were to peruse my iPod, you'd find all kinds of music, but this little gripe session has to do with Country music.

As time goes on, I'm starting to appreciate Toby Keith more and more. Not just his music, but also his stand against the politics in Country music. Tonight, I'm more aware of the machine promoting Country music than ever before. The reason Mr. Keith has snubbed back the CMA has got to do with the reasons for who gets the awards. Never has it been much of an issue to me personally, but a young lady named Taylor Swift was just awarded the CMA's 2009 Entertainer of The Year, among other awards. Now, I have nothing personal against the young lady. I'm sure she's talented, creative, and deserving of some sort of award. But it is obvious to me, and it's got to be pretty obvious for me to notice, that the CMA's intent is not to award the best Country music entertainer to the most deserving, but to the talent that is most likely to grow the Country music brand. Ms. Swift's greatest talent is in her ability to reach and attract more young listeners to Coutry music, not in her dazzling performance of the art.

I'm guessing that I'm not alone in the opinion that Country music is morphing in to some sort of hybrid genre that is growing out of "Country" music. A few years ago, George Straight and Alan Jackson performed a song called "Murder on Music Row". They were a bit ahead of me in their idea. Country music is being hijacked by this offshoot branch of performers who are not so much Country, as they are Pop-Folk music. Keith Urban is a perfect example. He's no more Country than are The Eagles. Neither are "Country". Again, I'm a big fan of the Eagles, in fact, they are one of my favorite groups. But, Country.... they're not. And neither is he. And Taylor Swift? Hardly. She writes her own lyrics and music, so I won't deny she's talented. But she's a "Country" music star about as much as is Steven Tyler. Guess they've stuck her in Country, because the Teen-Pop genre is filled up, or no longer exists. Let's see..... she's not Rap, not Rock, not..... well, you get the point. Why not stick her in Country? Yep, that's the best fit. Not.....

If I were King for a day, one of my missions would be to kick all the imposters out of Country music and begin a new category. Teeny Bopper. That works best. To quote Bugs Bunny, what a bunch of maroons....

Garth, Vince, Brooks and Dunn, Reba, George (Straight and Jones), Charlie (Pride and Daniels), Alan, Johnny, the list goes on and on. Country music. Not the stuff that's being used to pull in loads of listeners. Us old folks are dissalusioned with the new Country. At least I am. These days, I have to search for something called "Classic" Country on the radio to find the good stuff. Why don't they call the new stuff "Suburbia"? Pardon my french, but somebody needs a Boot Up Their Ass....

But then again, I'm not King.

Until next time....

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Consequences of Injustice....

For Jenny's 40th birthday, this past Friday night I took her to see her favorite group, Sugarland. I'm no big fan, but she loves them. She happened to get us front row seats. During the warm up bands, I noticed that all the seats around us were taken, except for two at the end of our row, two seats to our left. Seats immediately to our right and left were filled with husbands and their wives. After listening to the two front bands, we took off for the restrooms. The line for hers was long, so Sugarland started playing before we got back to our seats. Within about two feet of reaching our seats, a security guard grabbed Jenny's arm about the same time another grabbed me, each saying that we couldn't go "that" way... we couldn't pass through the front row on the way to our seats. We were both close enough to see that someone was sitting in our seats, 3 feet away. The music was LOUD, and through it, I was telling, rather yellling at, the guy who grabbed me, that our seats were, as I pointed to the people sitting in them, RIGHT THERE! "You'll have to go around!" he shouted. A similar confrontation was taking place between Jenny and her accostor, I assumed, because I couldn't her it over the music. As I was pointing to the people in our seats, it crossed my mind that I recognized the two seat stealers.

More on them shortly.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Jenny was having less success in pleading her arguement than I. My guy believed me after I showed him my ticket. An apparent organizer showed up and took Jenny and I aside and asked if we would sit next to our seats, two seats away. He would move the husband and wife that had previously been to our left, down two seats, and we would take theirs. Having finally decided I knew exactly who had taken our seats, I thought this arrangement would be fine. Jenny was, by this time, hell bent on righting the wrong, and in full warrior mode to make it happen. The organizer was trying his best to leave the perpetrators and move us two seats down, thinking everyone would finally be satisfied. All the while, Sugarland was playing their little hearts out, feet from us.

The male perpetrator's response to all this was "I just sit where they tell me", but said it to the husband to the right, who was actually pleading Jenny's case.... that the two perpertrators were in our seats. The perpetrator wouldn't look at Jenny, or I, but his wife was growing a bit uncomfortable with the "hell bent" part of Jenny's position, which I might add, was intense. The organizer was pleading for us to take the alternate seats.....did I mention they were the two adjacent seats to ours? The seats next to the seats the perp's had taken.

Finally, Jenny produced her ticket which resulted in two reactions. First, the large African American security guard let go of the tight grip he had on her arm. Second, the evidence was the final blow for the female perpertrator. That, and Jenny's vocal assertion that she had no intention of not sitting in the seats she bought for her 40th birthday. The female perp. finally could take no more. She grabbed her husband and moved to the seats to the left, where we had been asked to take.

Crisis absolved.

Jenny's pointed statement that she had no intention of giving up her seats, to her favorite band, in the middle of the front row, regardless of who had them, had taken their toll.

The perps ended up sitting just to our left, him next to me, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. For two hours, not a word was spoken between us, the perpertrator and me. My silence was because I was a bit embarrassed over the whole thing. His, as I think about it now, may have been due to a fear of reprisal or physical altercation. The concert went on as normal, enjoyed by all, although I spent a majority of the time wondering what "they" were thinking, or whether they were plotting a revenge. Just before the end, the perps were led away, never a word spoken, save the "whoo-hoo's" he occasionally blurted. Jenny had long since dismissed the hard feelings and thoroughly enjoyed the concert. From seats she had purchased. She was satisfied.

It's that way for a person of principal. Life can be enjoyed when things are the way they should be.

I was left with the sense that the two probably may have never experienced not getting their way, not having to stoop to inhabit the same air as the commoners. But I think they also learned the consequences of not making things right, when they often should be made that way. Of course, I'm sure it often depends on with whom one is dealing. I could have told him. I could have warned him that there are some people that live by right and wrong, and that asking those individuals to live with things not being right leads to consequences.... every time.

Jenny is one of those people. Right will always be right. And wrong will always be wrong. And to someone who lives by principals, the players don't matter, no matter who they are. And with these principaled people, there are consequences for not participating in making things right.

The perpertrators? The two who stole someone else's seats, whose they didn't care, and were happy to leave the injustice unresolved? The two who came face to face with the consequences of asking a person of principal to look the other way?

As the organizer put it to me later... she'll always be able to say that she kicked out of his seat....

The honorable governor of the state of Oklahoma and his wife, Brad and Kim Henry......

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

"Tough" Times

I happened to be performing a minor laser procedure on an old patient of mine today. We got to talking and he brought up the issue about the reportedly tough times of the day. If you ever get to thinking you've got it tough, and need a little pick-me-up, engage an old-timer about how things were not so long ago. He mentioned that back in the mid-30's life was a bit different when described as difficult. He was lamenting the huge government spending of the day and talked about how the government infused $500 million to help get out of the depression. "Didn't work then, and it won't work now. The thing that ultimately turned things around was The War. Wasn't until 1950, 15 years later, that things got better, then the Korean War boosted things again." He recalled that folks were much more willing to sacrifice day to day things to help in the war effort. If you needed to go somewhere, which you didn't do unless you really needed to, you walked, because they needed the gasoline. You did without metal, rubber, meals, new clothes, and only bought what you absolutely needed. You knew your neighbors, because everyone helped each other out.... and everyone needed help.

He went on to talk about how very few do without today. The vast majority of us have all the food, clothing, gasoline, household goods... and other "needs". Most of us are able to go where and when we need. Seems everyone, including those on state assistance, have cell phones, cars, and medical care. In my position, I see these folks every day. I don't mean to make light of those less fortunate. It just seems there are few who really suffer from lack of want. I do ocassinally see those that are truly "needy", but it seems like they are the ones who don't ask for much. They don't generally ask for assistance, but it is usually obvious that they need help. Few of these folks are actually on state assitance. They generally have jobs, albeit, poorly paid ones. But they don't play the pity card. They accept who and where they are, and easily accept what they can, and can't, have. Some times what they need is surgery. When faced with that as an only option to improve their sight, they usually are satisfied that they'll just have to wait. We'll always check to see if one of the generous eye surgeons will help out, and they generally do. These folks are a bit uncomfortable with taking charity, and sometimes reluctantly accept, IF they need it to keep their job. Some won't, and gladly accept the fact that they will just do without. Of course, these are the ones for which we work the hardest. Would we all be so humble? I think it's a sign of maturity and selflessness to humbly accept your situation, however difficult, and expect no one to fix it for you.

The truth is, I believe, few today understand what it is to really do without, to have unmet needs. Most have unmet "wants". We live in a time of unmatched comfort, safety and affluence. Life expectancy is at an all time high. Life, through out human history has been a far more dangerous and difficult existence than it is today. My parents' generation understand this better than do we. They understand and recognize a real problem or threat, and know what it means to live within one's means. If you want or need something and you can't afford it, you do without it, until you can afford it. Today, it generally means one bought to much of something else and don't have enough left over for other stuff they want.

Hearing the difficult state of financial affairs, the pain, in this great country, seems to offend a little. Are we really in that much pain? Losing a $100K job is pain? I'd argue that someone with a $30K a year job is much more likely to experience pain. If I were to lose my job, for example, the things I own would have to go. The house, the lake house, the boat, the nice cars, etc. I'd then have to find a smaller house or apartment, drive a smaller and less expensive car, eat fewer steaks and more hamburger, have fewer days off, and the like. But, I'd probably end up with a perfectly good roof over my head, and a reasonably dependable car, and probably wouldn't miss many meals. I'd still be healthy, still have my family that loves me, my kids would have to take more responsibility for the "things" they have and "need". But, is that pain? The hit my pride woud suffer, and the embarrassment, might feel like pain. But wouldn't I have more than my parents and grandparents had for much of their lives? Would I have more that the generations before that?

What we're going through today as a nation is not pain. It's just less than what we've been accustomed to. It's better than any of us had 20 years ago. Let's hope we don't experience real pain. How would we deal with that, if we think today is painful?

The key is to get up every day, be thankful for what we have, the real things like family and close friends, and go to work and make someone else happy. The best anti-depressant is to quit thinking about what we don't have and help someone who really doesn't. Sounds old and cliche, but it is true. The happiest people are the ones who own their things, and don't let their things own them. Unfortunately, the more we have, the more we want. My mother told me that when I was a child, but I finally understand it. Funny how many things my parents taught me didn't sink in until I became an adult. Can't ever repay enough, but I can pass it on to those I care about. And they'll understand it one day. Hopefully, and probably, earlier in life than did I.

Until next time....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ode to a Good Man

Bob Owens was buried this past Tuesday, August 11. He passed away in his sleep on the previous Friday, August 7, 2009. As usual, I was rushing to get things done before leaving the office for the funeral, and rushing to get out and back to the office since I'd been gone for what I felt was a bit too long. During the service, I was struck by the things I learned about a man, my uncle, who I thought I knew reasonably well.

Little did I know how many lives he touched. Several people I didn't know, walked to the pulpit, one after another, to tell us all how Bob had touched their life or gave them a helping hand along the way. I had always know that Bob had worked hard, at least since I had known him from the time I was a young boy. Often times he missed family get-togethers over holidays because he had to go check on a well-site. But I didn't know the things I heard from all who spoke.

I learned that at age 14, his father passed away, and because of the loss of the family's bread-winner, he needed to contribute. At that young age, he took a job delivering milk in Okmulgee, a job that required him to awaken at 4am. He worked hard all through high school, and I doubt it was for spending money. His mother worked as a butcher in town. I also didn't know that my father worked with her there while he was a young man, but that's when he met Bob. He obviously knew him quite some time before he married my father's sister, Billie Sue, some years later.

We heard stories from some who worked with Bob in the oil business, neighbors, high school friends, fellow Mason's, classmates at OSU, and others that had known Bob throughout his life. I must say I had no idea he was so well liked among those outside our family. The common denominator of all the stories and heart felt eulogies, was how dependable and consistent he was. Many of those that spoke didn't know the others who offered similar accolades for the man who, by all accounts, lived his life making sure his family was taken care of, letting his friends knew he cared, and helping his neighbors by contributing to his community in any way he could. He raised money for scholarships for deserving students at OSU, his alma mater, to which he was a loyal alumnis.

I've got to say, I had no idea the kind of man he was. I knew I always enjoyed talking to him, and listening to his views on things political. He once told me something that didn't make much sense at the time, but now know he was absolutely right. "If you owe the bank $50,000, they own you," he said, "but, if you owe the bank $500,000, you own them."

He'll certainly be missed. But it won't be because of the financial obligations or monetary support for his family. He took care of that responsibility. He'll be missed because of the stuff he gave away for free.

Until next time.....

Saturday, August 8, 2009

And now... the rest of us......

I took time to visit about Rhett and Ryan last night, and wanted to talk a bit about the rest of the family as soon as possible....

Corbin, although son #3, is really the middle child, since the older boys are twins. Corbin is definitely one to go his own way. As a boy, he struggled a bit to forge his own identity, as I'm sure is a characteristic of middle children, in that he probably thought he was in the shadow of the twins. I always thought this was probably due to the novelty of older sibling twins and the attention they often garner. I hope I played some role in helping him realize he didn't have to be like them, and that he could and should be himself. He did, and eventually grew to like who he was and, hopefully new that Jenny and I loved him for exactly who and what he is. Corbin is very bright and has an independent crust, but inside, he's a softy. He is very independent, doesn't need a lot to make him happy, and loves music. He hopes to make his way in the world in music and or film. I hope he does. Wouldn't life be great if we all spent life doing what we love as our vocation? Corbin is never indicisive, and pretty well knows what he wants to do with his time. I truly enjoy the heart to heart talks we occasionally have.

Chad is the youngest. Again, the birth order seems to have worked itself out pretty well in our family. He is carefree, doesn't appear to worry much, has a simplistic view of life, and is very loyal to his friends. When all the boys were still in high school, I was told many times by many people, including his counsellor that Chad was the most popular kid at Norman North. Guess he pretty well knew everyone in school with brothers that were seniors and a junior. To wind up the birth order issue, let's just say that Chad will probably both forget, and be late for, his own funeral.... And, hopefully, the fender-benders are done with. But, he's a sweet kid, not a mean bone in his body, and takes nothing too seriously. Now if he'll just find what it is in life he wants to do, I'll quit worrying. This next month will be his first year in college, and he'll start at a community college, hopefully transferring to OSU with Rhett, or another local school sometime during the next year or two.

And now my lovely bride... Jenny. Let me begin by saying that I don't know what I ever did in life to deserve such a wonderful mate, but I surely missed it when it happened. I love her more now than I did when I married her, and for me that means quite a lot. I've never seen a wife sacrifice, work hard, worry about her husband and kids, and take care of us all, like she does. It is truly amazing. I respect her as much as I love her, and that is the foundation for the deep feelings I have for her. I can't imagine life without her. I look forward to growing old and spending life with her. The older I get, the more I am impressed with the importance of the friends and spouse we choose. Life is so busy, full of obligations and responsibilities, that our time becomes very precious. My good friend and high school track coach, Bob Haley, told me it would happen, but I didn't appreciate the significance at the time. With such little time to spend with those we choose, friendships and our mates, those become very important to life and add to it in untold ways. It makes me appreciate those that call me a friend, and for my wife to enjoy her life being spent with me. It is an unimaginable honor. She is a jewel and I hope she knows what she means to me. I try to tell her, but I'm sure I don't do it often enough. What she has done for me, and what she has sacrificed for the boys deserves more repayment than I can possibly give her. The best I can do is to make every day good, and for her to see me take care of my responsibilities every day, in order to give her and the boys the best in life I can. In my personal life, that is my daily goal and my mission.

I have begun to realize that most of us primarily affect a relatively small sphere of people in life. I won't ever affect the masses, but those around me, family, friends and neighbors, deserve the best I can give them. The most important thing we all will ever do in life, is to make better the lives of those close to us. After we're gone, in a few short years, our lives will likely benefit only those few friends and family with whom we spend our time. Hopefully what we give them will be passed on. If we can do that, we've well spent our alloted time.

Until next time.....

Friday, August 7, 2009

It's been a while...

Took quite a vacation from writing since my first post. Guess I need time to recuperate. Heavy work...

Recent Events:

This week, Rhett left for OSU for some pre-semester acclimating. Lots to do I guess. I'd have done the same. I'm glad he's experienced college life like I wanted my sons to. As I'm sure he'd tell you, it's an experience that cannot be replaced, and in so many ways. I'm proud of many things in Rhett. He's very honest and trusworthy. He's the kind of young man I wish I had been at his age. He tries to do well at all he puts his hand to. But I think, as much as that, the thing I admire him for is his lack of fear. He isn't afraid of, or intimidated by, anything, and he's always been that way. I think those genes skipped a generation and flowed from my father. I have no concern about his succes in life. He's very social, serious, and life is important to him. It's important to him that he lead an honorable life. He's appreciative of what he's been given. I couldn't be prouder of him than I am now, regardless of the path he chooses in life. I can't wait to see what he does with his life. I know he'll contribute to this life and our world will be better off with his life.

Ryan, as well, left for Ada this week. He's been given a second chance at a life he enjoys. Got his stuff straight, his educational goals, and will probably be the punter for the ECU Tigers this year. Ryan is such a likeable young man, and his personality will improve his lot in life because of his easy nature. He, like few, has the physical skills to become a professional athlete. The only question is, as it is for the majority of those with the skills, is whether the goal is worth the sacrifice. Time will tell. If he doesn't, it means only that his desires lie elsewhere, which is just fine. We all have to find out. I hope he enjoys his time there, regardless of where he ultimately takes his life, and I hope above all, that he gets his degree and finds what it is he wants to do in life. Ryan is pretty simple, really. And that is a great way to approach life. Finding pleasure in the simple things in life. That advice comes from his grandmother, who I have to add, is one of the nicest, most pleasant people on earth, and I don't exert any bias. She's one in a million. Just like her stepmother Opal. I learned simplicity from both. We'll have fun this year going to games again, and Jenny and I are looking forward to the fun.

Well, I haven't written about the lovely Jenny (my wonderful bride), Corbin or Chad. Plenty to say there as well, but it's late and I've got a full day tomorrow, so I'll suspend operations for the night and continue again soon. Hopefully, not too long before I continue. Until next time...

Curt

Friday, May 1, 2009

Virgin Post

Thought I'd try posting my thoughts for family and friends to see. Seems like it's difficult these days to find the time and pulpit to voice my thoughts, concerns, advice and general rants about what's going on with those I care about. You'll have to forgive my clumsiness until I learn what the final product looks and feel like. I hope not to bore, but if you're interested in the mundane trials of my every day life, maybe there will occasionally be a nugget of information you'll find interesting or at least worth your time to read it.